BIRTHDAY SHENANIGANS

[timetopaythepiper]

[Usually Hartley treats birthdays like any other day. He's not really the kind of person who sees any point in making a big deal out of turning a year older, especially when there's rarely anyone else to make a big deal of it with. But this birthday is different.

Because it's not just his birthday. He's sharing it with another Hartley Rathaway, another version of himself, and that almost certainly seems like something they should be celebrating. Who else gets the opportunity to do something like this? No one. At least as far as he knows.

So after sharing a "holyshit, I'm 30" drink with one of the few neighbors he's civil with, he comes back to the apartment determined to make Piper do something celebratory with him. He thinks alcohol should probably be involved. And maybe some property damage (he wonders where Harrison's staying these days), but either way, definitely alcohol.]

Piper, feel up to doing something tonight?

Comments

[socialactivillain]

[ Piper's hunched over the coffee table, tinkering with some small electronic device, spare parts and pieces of his flute spread out around him. ]

Hmm? Oh, uh, sure. Like what?

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hartley heads to the kitchen to see if they have any alcohol left.]

Tequila. Lots of tequila. Maybe we could go to a bar. Or we could find something else to do. Maybe something with my gloves and your flute? And of course, tequila.

[socialactivillain]

Is the tequila a strict requirement, or could we substitute something slightly less likely to make me forget my own name after an hour?

[ He sets his project aside and starts reassembling his flute. ]

[timetopaythepiper]

It doesn't have to be tequila, but alcohol should be involved in the night somehow. I'd prefer not to have to carry your unconscious body back to the apartment, so maybe something a bit less strong than usual would be a good idea.

[They have wine, but he's not sure this a wine kind of night.]

Especially if we end up having to run from the police again.

[socialactivillain]

[ Wine isn't a get wasted and fuck things up kind of drink, unless it comes out of a box. ]

Hey, don't make it sound like I'm lightweight.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hartley doesn't believe in drinking wine out of boxes, so wine is out this time around.]

I'm not calling you a lightweight. I'm calling you old and out of practice. Which reminds me... how does it feel to be forty?

[socialactivillain]

—Is it June 22nd already? I didn't even realize.

[timetopaythepiper]

[He peers out at Piper from the kitchen.]

Are you serious? Did you really forget your own birthday? Yes, it's June 22nd already.

[socialactivillain]

In my defense, I don't really celebrate it anymore. So, sorry I didn't get you a present.

[timetopaythepiper]

I'm a little old for presents, but if you want to make it up to me anyway, you could let me give your flute a try while we're out.

[He was going to wait until Piper was drunk to make that suggestion, but he can always try again later if he says no.]

[socialactivillain]

Oh please, no one's too old for presents. And sure, but I still don't think it'll do anything.

[ He finishes putting it back together and gets up, stretching and popping his back. ]

So, other than the tequila, did you have anything in particular in mind?

[timetopaythepiper]

If you say so, Snowflake. I want to try anyway.

[He heads back into the living room to get his gloves.]

No, I really don't care as long as it's alcohol and appropriate for the night we're going to have. What are you in the mood for this time?

[socialactivillain]

Snowflake?

[ He rolls his eyes. ]

I don't know. Why don't we go out somewhere, and I'll decide when we get there.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hartley smirks for a moment before slipping his gloves into his coat pocket. Since Piper's going to let him try out the flute, he'll try to tone down the insults for the night.]

That sounds good to me. I'm not sure what I'm in the mood for yet anyway. Bar or club?

[socialactivillain]

[ Good luck with that. ]

Bar. I think 40 is officially Too Old for clubs. I just get a headache and want to leave.

[timetopaythepiper]

Clubs tend to give me headaches these days too. Bar it is then.

[Hartley takes out his phone to call them a cab.]

Are you going like that?

[socialactivillain]

Give me a few minutes to change.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hartley slips his phone back into his pocket.]

Change into something appropriate for a bar, but also appropriate for property destruction. And don't take too long. It won't take long for the cab to get here.

[socialactivillain]

[ He's already heading around the corner into his room. ]

I'll be quick.

[timetopaythepiper]

Okay. I'll be out here.

[Hartley flops down onto the couch to wait for him. He briefly considers heading to the bathroom to switch his glasses for contact lenses before deciding against it. He knows he won't feel like taking them out again later.]