to whom it may concern

[metatemporal]

Test results

▼ X

sent at 11:28 PM (two minutes ago)
FROM	Dr. Harrison Wells <harrison.wells@starlabs.com>;
TO	Hartley Rathaway <r88gjfke8@hushmail.com>;
resultscomparison.pdf Mr. Rathaway and associate, Attached are the DNA comparison results for your samples. Please feel free to call, email, or visit S.T.A.R. Labs during regular hours if there are any irregularities you wish to discuss. - Harrison Wells Director of S.T.A.R. Labs 4737 Garrick Ave. Central City, MO 63118 314-574-5252
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Comments

[socialactivillain]

[ Very mature, Hartley. ]

Well that definitely gets the message across.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hey, he did a pretty decent job at keeping it mature until the end there.]

I should hope so. I can't believe he had the nerve to email me.

[socialactivillain]

At least he sent the results. Assuming they aren't tampered with.

[timetopaythepiper]

He only sent the results because he wants to mess with our heads. He didn't do it out of the kindness of his heart.

[socialactivillain]

I don't doubt it. But I still want to take a look at them.

[timetopaythepiper]

I'm not telling you not to. I just think I should still run the tests myself. Make sure the results he sent us aren't a load of crap.

[socialactivillain]

Yeah, of course.

[timetopaythepiper]

And then we need to get you home and you need to stay there until Harrison loses interest.

[socialactivillain]

[ Yeah, that's totally gonna happen. ]

Could you forward me the results in the meantime?

[timetopaythepiper]

Yeah, I'll do it now. Give me a sec.

[He takes out his phone and sends Piper the results. He's really hoping this will satisfy Piper's curiosity enough that he won't do anything stupid.]

Okay, it should be in your email.

[socialactivillain]

[ Piper's really good at doing stupid things, though. At least he's equally good at turning stupid things into something useful. Usually. ]

Thanks.

[ He opens the email on his phone and sets about looking through the results. When he's sure Hartley's not looking, he also saves Wells' contact information. ]

[timetopaythepiper]

[This is probably going to end badly, but for now Hartley thinks Piper has enough common sense not to try to talk to a psychopath.]

You're welcome. And I'm sorry your DNA was stolen. If you want, I can find out where he's staying at the moment and do some damage there too.

[socialactivillain]

[ Curiosity killed the cat, but hopefully not the reality-displaced reformed supervillain.

He skims the results. He's not sure how he feels about the fact that there's nothing in his DNA that looks anything like the metagene, but the fact that he and Hartley appear related on a genetic level is interesting, at least. ]

It doesn't look like he learned anything of interest from it, other than maybe you have a distant cousin or something you never mentioned. But if you want the excuse to break more of his things, I'm certainly not going to stop you.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Hartley's not too sure how he feels about the results himself. He doesn't really care one way or the other whether or not Hartley's a metahuman (and he thinks testing his blood might be a better way to determine that anyway), but there's still a tiny sliver of concern that Piper might not be him at all. That he's just some random, illegitimate cousin that no one wanted.]

He wouldn't have bothered testing your DNA if you weren't a potential person of interest. And now he's going to want to know why we were doing DNA tests.

[socialactivillain]

[ They look different enough that perfectly matching DNA would've been impossible. Their hair colors, for starters, would have different genetic markers. But it's all close enough that they look like family. Possibly even more closely related than cousins. ]

Well, he can wonder all he wants. You made it pretty clear that we have no interest in explaining ourselves.

[timetopaythepiper]

[Everything about this should be impossible. Parallel realities, sure, he can buy that. But being able to travel to another one as easily as Piper did is a bit harder to swallow. Having a long lost cousin would make a lot more sense. But Hartley's still pretty sure Piper's been telling the truth.]

You really think he'll take no for an answer?

[socialactivillain]

No, I assume not. But that doesn't mean he'll necessarily find out, either.

[ He says like he's not already thinking about how much he's willing to be up front about with Wells if he finds the chance to speak with him. ]

[timetopaythepiper]

Of course he won't find out. I won't let him. He won't be able to find out anything more if we can get you home. Right now, he probably thinks you're some lost relative or something.

[socialactivillain]

It's probably safe for me to try to find my way back, but I still don't have the faintest idea of how to go about trying.

[timetopaythepiper]

You should start by retracing your steps. Maybe don't think about it too much. You didn't seem to have any problem getting here.

[socialactivillain]

Right. I'll start at Jitters and go from there, see if I remember anything or if I just... cross back over.

[timetopaythepiper]

Good idea. Do you want me to come with you? Not to your reality. To Jitters.

[socialactivillain]

[ He shakes his head. ]

On the off chance the police are still looking for us, it's probably better if we're not spotted together. But I'll text you to keep you updated as I go.

[timetopaythepiper]

I'll want to know the minute you make it back to your own reality, if you make it back to your own reality. If not, just come back here and we'll figure something else out.

[socialactivillain]

I'll keep you updated as best as I can.

[ He at least feels a little bad lying to him, since he's already thinking through how to go about meeting with Wells, and meeting up with him while Hartley thinks he's out looking for the way home seems the best way to do it. And it's not like he's not going to try, but he can't resist the temptation to meet a man like Wells in person before he leaves this reality, possibly forever. ]